First things first...we had an absolute FABULOUS time at Butchart Gardens last night. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in my life. The care they put in to the tiny details makes it the maginificent spectacle that it is! This is much like the care we put in to our loved ones....and much like the care we should put in to ourselves, you know when we're finished taking care of everyone else and finding world peace and such. For a small period of time last night nothing else existed except for the lights, the gardens, our hot cocoa and a little tiny twinkle of Christmas spirit :) It was a lovely place with out cancer or fear or pain. I'm so happy we finally went!
Well, it's Friday....and the last thing anyone wants to do on Friday is hang out in the Cancer clinic!! BUT we arrived there with anticipation, momma bear was having treatments today! Hopefully this will give her some much needed pain relief. Although we stayed at the fabulous Laurel Point last night, she was still uncomfortable. That rascally cancer just won't leave her bones alone! Tired and hungry, we were rushed in to see our doctor. She told us that they were planning on treating 4 spots today. Although momma isn't having pain in all of these spots yet, it isn't a bad idea to treat them all. Hopefully this will stop the cancer from chasing itself around her body for a little bit longer this time.
If only it was as easy as laser tag....ZAP and you're done! Not so much! After you talk with your doctor you have to go for CT scans and moms most FAVORITE part, they mark you for treatment. She has 4 large bulls-eyes on her treatment sites drawn in red permanent marker. She HATES when they do that but it is a necessity of the treatment process. Because of the large amount of treatments mom would have AND the fact that they were scattered around her body (upper back, 3rd rib, right hip, and left femur) it took a little while for the tech's to develop and program her radiation plan. Typically they allow 3 weeks for this process that we did in just 3 hours! We had to wait which was the tough part. Mom was in pain and her medicine makes her sleepy so being upright in her wheel chair wasn't the best for a mid-day snooze!
Finally it was our turn and off we went to the Birch room (there are a few treatment areas at the Cancer clinic, all named after trees, fitting for a momma bear!). We were re-routed to the Spruce room in the end! The treatments take some time normally BUT she was having 4 so it would be awhile. Waiting makes me so anxious...not that I'm a control freak or anything :) While I waited I went and sat in the lobby which is home to a very cozy fire place. I sat there and thought for a little while and before I knew it my poor tired eyes had drifted closed and I was having my own mid-day snooze! Although some may be upset when they are awoken from a mid afternoon nap, I was pleasantly surprised to find Gran kneeling beside my chair. She is one of the volunteers at the cancer clinic and she wanted to know if I would like anything, tea, coffee, a smoothy a cookie? OH SNAP! Why yes I would love it!!
Calm down before you think I sound selfish, I politely asked and used my manners....I now know why they have so many of those volunteers. I sat and talked with this complete stranger for the remainder of my moms treatment. She walked me back to the Spruce area and waited with me a bit longer. She held my hand when I overheard the technicians talking about a challenge they were having with my moms treatment. She calmed my anxiety about the amount of time it was taking. And she shared with me the story of how her husband had passed away 6 years ago from bone cancer. Although momma bears cancer began in her lung, it is the cancer in her bones that is now taking over. It was so comforting for me to hear her story and share mine with her. She gave me a few secrets on what to do when the pain gets really tough for them and how to perhaps squeeze in a few extra hours of sleep for myself. She cried with me and laughed with me and most of all made me feel at home in the middle of the scary cancer clinic. It made the anxiety I get walking in to that place, melt away. It wasn't so bad thanks to her! Granted, I could have passed the time by continuing to sleep, creeping facebook on my phone or other frivalous games BUT I can never put in to words how grateful I am for Gran and her loving nature and how she came in to my life today.
Because of Gran and a few other lovely ladies tonight on facebook, I decided I need to pay it forward. So, I created a facebook page (again, before you think its cheesy or lame). "Not because we have to... (although facebook won't allow the "...") is a place where anyone can share their story. You can be a caregiver or someone who is fighting a disease, a parent who lost their child, a mother who lost her pregnancy, a brother who lost a sister...it doesn't matter you see. We all have the opportunity to gain strength and comfort from one another. We all have a story to tell, positive or negative. We all feel alone at times BUT find comfort in the loneliness and experience of others. We all have the ability to share a trick with others that maybe they didn't know before. We all have the chance to knowingly OR unknowingly inspire those around us. We all have the chance to love.
Love because you want to and it feels good...not because you have to :)
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