I never thought that people would be right in saying it would get easier as time went on (referring to the loss of my mom). After she first passed away I just couldn't fathom it ever being ok or easier! In fact, I would politely nod as they spoke all the while in my head cussing them out and thinking, it won't you big liar! What I have learned as time marches on is that they were right. It does get easier to get up every day, easier to live life, easier to move forward, and easier to remember with out always being sad! I will often think of my mom now and remember happy thoughts or memories with out crying, but instead laughing or smiling! There are some exceptions, not every day is sunshine and lollipops...today was one of those days! Today was an exceptionally difficult day. Many challenges were thrown my way personally and professionally but regardless of all of those things I pushed forward and remembered I had things to do! I found myself back in to Relay for Life mode.
Last night, Go Away Big Bad Cancer Monster, held it's first official team meeting for this years upcoming Relay and here I find myself back in "Relay Season", as I call it. A lot of time goes in to planning and fundraising for such an amazing organization (The Canadian Cancer Society) BUT I often think WHY I push so hard to raise so much and do everything humanly possible (even foregoing sleep at times). My "why" is because I have personally been touched by the work of the Canadian Cancer Society. However, I can't possibly think back to these bits of help and support with out reliving the really yucky times in my mom's fight. AND so here I find myself...having a tough day, reliving some sad, lonely moments spent in the hallways and waiting rooms at the cancer clinic and the hospital. Remembering the strangers that volunteered their time with the CCS that sat in those hallways and waiting rooms with me, holding my hand and wiping away tears, offering support, friendship and sometimes just a hug or a silly joke. I am also remembering doctors and nurses who worked so hard to make even the worst of days a bit more bearable for my mom. It's a pretty solid "why" in my mind and motivating even on sleepless nights and the mornings that come after them!!
Yes, Relay season is upon us here in Nanaimo and why do I Relay?? I Relay because too many moms, dads, sisters, brothers, friends and loved ones have had to fight cancer in the battle for their lives! I Relay because I know that the money raised at this event will support daughters, like me, in our community, sitting in those waiting rooms, needing a hand to hold and shoulder to cry on. I Relay so that one day we WILL live in a world free from Cancer!
Bring it on Relay Season!!
